On the brutal transience of tights

Most men, like in ZZ Top’s song, are fools for stockings. Hardly surprising when you see what Lycra and other clever fibres can do for your legs.

But your supermodel killer pins come at a price. According to a survey carried by Halte à l’obsolescence programmée (Stop Built-In Obsolescence, HOP), these leg warmer-embellishers only have a very short life-span. One third of the lucky ones not laddering on first wear, don’t survive more than 6 wears. And only 1 measly miserable percent live long enough to be worn out. In other words, 1 billion pairs of stockings and tights – taking between 30 and 40 years to disintegrate – end up in landfills every year globally. All brands are concerned, and the big and most expensive ones are not necessarily the best. Supermarket ones are in the “avoid” category. To limit this pollution, and only as a last resort, you can deposit them in textile collecting points. They will be shredded and used as industrial stuffing material, except in Sweden, where they are recycled by the one and only sustainable hosiery brand in the world: Swedish Stockings®.

Before this sad ending and while waiting for the arrival of the indestructible Sheer Genius® tights, you can extend their short life and reduce your stocking and tights budget with these few hacks:

Dip them in cold water, stick them in a plastic bag and put into the freezer for the night. In the morning, take them out and leave them a day to thaw out at room temperature. This cryogenic treatment will strengthen the fibres.

Put them in a laundry bag or an old pillow before you throw them in the washing machine.

And when they eventually end up laddering the length of your leg, don’t cry, assign them other tasks, less glamourous but very functional:

When packing your suitcases, carefully roll your clothes and put them in a stocking or tight leg, they won’t crease. And, as an added bonus, this little trick will save a lot of space. They also make perfect bags for your shoes.

To avoid losing buttons, use a bit of stocking or tight: cut a thin band widthwise, then cut up small squares and place them on the inside of the garment, underneath the buttons, and sew the lot together. Your buttons will be secured and the fabric less likely to tear.

Put your wrapping paper rolls away in a stocking or a tight leg to stop them from unrolling.